Link to the article: https://liveactionnews.org/the-rape-exception-the-pain-of-abortion-after-rape/
“When I was younger, there was a man who wanted something from me
that I was not willing to give,” says Irene van der Wende. She was in
her twenties when a man attacked her. Though she attempted to escape his
grasp, he began to strangle her. Her will to live kicked in and she
knew, as she struggled to breathe, that fighting may cost her life.
After he raped her, Irene walked away, clutching her coat and hoping
no one could see her ripped clothing underneath. Time passed, and Irene
discovered she was pregnant.
“I could no longer close my skirt zipper,” she explains, “When my
doctor informed me that I was pregnant, I was in shock. It felt as
though the legs had been sawn off from under my chair, as if I was
falling into a deep abyss. In a whirlwind of events, I ended up in an
abortion clinic, but the counselor said I was too far along. I was on
the verge of it being allowed to be done legally.”
Because of her late gestation, Irene was sent to a different clinic:
I will never forget the sound of the old creaking heavy
wooden door, the black and white checkered tiles, and as I was waiting
to sign papers, I watched the big clock at the far end of the room, the
minutes ticking away to the death of my child. There was an ominous
atmosphere, as if death hung in a cloud in the air. I was petrified. The
imprints, the sounds, the images, stay with me to this day. In a side
room, with some six other women…waiting for our turn, the women were
laughing and giggling, and asking each other why they were having it
done. …
I started thinking about my situation. I realized I was a mother,
with a baby inside me, regardless of how she got there. But when I said
this to the nurse who came to collect me, she patted me on the shoulder
and said, ‘There there now. You all say that at the last minute – you’re
doing the right thing’.
Irene, fearful and second-guessing her decision to abort, was not prepared for the horror that happened next. No one could be…
The abortionist started yelling at me, and I froze…in
sheer panic and terror. … With feet in the stirrups, legs tied, and arms
outstretched, also tied, I felt like we were sheep about to be
slaughtered. Already having gone through rape, this was horrendous. This
is what women’s lib thought was okay? I lost consciousness and awoke to
now be the mother of a dead baby, a nightmare that would follow me the
rest of my life. The pain was horrendous. The women who had been so
chirpy at first, were now all groaning and in tears and crying out to
God to forgive them, others crying out ‘my baby!’ while others cried
that they were so sorry.
Irene tried to bury her emotions and says she spent a long time
living in denial. However, each Mother’s Day was a painful reminder that
she had carried a baby who was no longer here. Then she learned that
she was also conceived in rape. Her father had been drunk and beaten and
raped her mother.
“That is how my life started,” says Irene, “but society says that is a
reason to kill me, simply because I was not conceived in love with wine
and roses. … That doesn’t make sense from where I am standing.”
Irene is grateful to the politicians who believe all lives are
valuable and worth protecting, even those conceived in rape. Her own
mother planned out her suicide while she was pregnant with Irene, even
heading to the train tracks to jump in front of an oncoming train before
changing her mind. Irene is grateful to be alive and able to do
something with her life. However, this gratitude for life reminds her
that her daughter wasn’t given the same chance. She explains:
It is a sore realization that I did not give my daughter
that opportunity. I wish I could turn the clock back, but of course I
can’t. But I can now help educate. I often would think how old she would
have been now, but couldn’t handle the emotions, so I would stuff it
further. When I eventually was able to forgive the rapist, I found it
difficult to forgive myself for what I had done. The father (rapist)
harmed me, but I harmed my own baby – she was my own flesh and blood.
Down the road, Irene became pregnant again,but her boyfriend insisted
she have an abortion. Irene refused, and her boyfriend abandoned her.
Unfortunately, Irene miscarried. Since then, she has named each of her
deceased daughters and created a grave for them. After making models of
each of them, she buried them with marble Bibles and a stone to
commemorate their lives. This has helped her to heal.
A few years went by, and Irene took a trip to Israel where she
happened to meet a group of pro-life leaders. Certain they would each be
able to tell that she had had an abortion simply by looking at her,
Irene wanted to hide. She says she was feeling guilty and ashamed.
When the group overlooked the Hinnom Valley in Jerusalem,
where innocent babies were sacrificed to the god Molech, I was totally
convicted and could do nothing other than cry out…for forgiveness for
killing one of [God's] children. I also cried out on behalf of all the
women in the world who killed their children, begging for forgiveness
for what we were doing, amongst immense sobs from deep in my innermost
being.
When she returned home, Irene saw pictures of aborted babies with
perfectly formed bodies. She spent three days crying and came through
that experience determined to tell the world what abortion is. She is
certain that if she had known beforehand, she would never have paid a
doctor to “murder my child.”
Soon after, Irene began a Silent No More Awareness Campaign in Holland,
which invites those affected by abortion to share their stories to help
others who have been hurt by abortion. The campaign also spreads the
truth about the negative effects of abortion. In addition, Irene runs a
new organization devoted to educating the public and helping pregnant
women with baby clothes and supplies. She speaks around the world,
sharing her experience and knowledge. She says:
I speak for the dead, to protect the living, and will do everything within my means to be a voice for the voiceless.
You can learn more about Irene and her efforts at www.savethe1.com and