Why I Regret Aborting My Baby with Down Syndrome

 

Nancy Kreuzer

   
  Last week, I posted an ad featuring happy Down syndrome children that the French government banned because it feared the ad might upset women who had aborted their children.  When I saw the ad, I immediately thought of two Down syndrome children I know who are special to me.  I also thought of Nancy Kreuzer, someone who used to go to my church and shared her abortion story with me several years ago. Hers is a powerful story not only of pain and loss, but also of redemption and the power of the cross. I asked Nancy if she’d be willing to share her story on my blog and courageously, she agreed. I’m sure it’s not easy to share something so intensely personal, but Nancy does it because she passionately wants to save other mothers from repeating her same mistakes. — Julie

by Nancy Kreuzer

The ad begins with a letter from an apprehensive mom: “I’m expecting a baby. I’ve discovered he has Down syndrome. I’m scared. What kind of life will my child have?” Then, in some of the most moving two minutes of video I’ve seen, precious children with Down syndrome answer this mom. “Don’t be afraid,” they assure her. “Your child will be happy, like me, and you will too.” 

For many, I’m sure the ad evoked feelings of warmth and joy, but for me, it evoked strong feelings of regret. Like 67% of American women whose babies receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down’s, I aborted my baby 23 years ago. Trying to protect people like me, the French government last week banned this ad, saying it is was “likely to disturb the conscience of women.” However, as someone who made that tragic decision, I know first-hand that the consciences of post-abortive women are already disturbed. Shielding these mothers from the truth does not prevent pain; it only delays healing, and contributes to the on-going holocaust of Downs Syndrome children.

Had I seen this beautiful ad 23 years ago, I might not have bought the lie that my Downs Syndrome baby was “better off,” and that I also was better off if I aborted her. It is a terrible injustice that is done to women —not telling them the truth about abortion and the truth about Down syndrome children. My “choice” ushered in a life-time of regret and I suffered deeply from the after-effects of the abortion. Thankfully, my conversion to Christianity, and experiencing the love of Christ, has stopped the bleeding wound.

My baby was 22 weeks old when I was told she had water on the brain and Down syndrome. The doctor immediately recommended terminating the pregnancy. And from that point on, my baby was no longer referred to as a baby. Instead, I heard language such as “empty the contents of the womb” or “terminate the pregnancy.” This distortion in language was a sign that the kind of care my baby and I had been receiving, up until that point, was drastically changing.

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