I was raped a month before I turned eighteen, by someone I trusted. I ended up becoming pregnant because of that rape. I was so ashamed & so fearful of what happened to me & I didn't feel like I could open up to my family. I had never heard of a CPC, but I did know about abortion. I knew abortion was wrong, but it seemed liked the only thing I could do. I was hoping there would be protestors to stop me outside the clinic, but no one was there. I told every worker at the abortion clinic that I was raped and no one offered me any assistance. No counseling, nothing. I immediately regretted my decision, but I didn't know what else to do.
After my abortion, I attempted suicide and contemplated it often. I would have horrific nightmares about my baby & began drinking heavily to numb the pain I felt. I hated myself! I didn't even care about the rape anymore; I was trying to conceive myself how in the world I chose to kill my child. After finally getting counseling I was diagnosed with PTSD.
In 2009, I did a post-abortive Bible study and through that the Lord completely healed me of the shame, guilt, fear and worthlessness I felt. Since then, I've been speaking out against abortion and sharing my story in hopes that people will stop using rape as an excuse for abortion!
I would much rather have my precious thirteen year old child here with me today than to live everyday without him knowing that I chose to kill him out of fear and shame. I pray every day that God will use me to share my story to help stop abortion and that my son’s death won't be in vain. We have got to start being bold, speaking out, getting pro-life and personhood laws passed. Not only for the unborn babies, but also to protect those women and men from making such a life altering choice that they can never undo!