Transforming the Culture One Heart at a Time

  Connie Thomson
Ontario,  Canada
 
 

My name is Connie Thomson.  Regretfully I twice made the decision to have an abortion.  I was so confused.  Certainly my conscience warned me strongly not to do it, but then the medical professionals told me it was a blob of tissue, and the laws permitting it indicated to me that it was not killing.  I was young and in crisis, and I had not acquired the ability to reason past deceptive doctors, nurses, and courts.  I grew up believing we lived in a country that held every human being as inherently valuable.  I trusted health care professionals, and I believed our Canadian legislature operated in justice. 

I did not escape the proverbial spiral that accompanies every “Choice” to kill one’s child.  Self-destructive behaviour ensued because I had found no reason to care about myself anymore. 

Directly by the hands of that physician and those nurses, my babies died a horrific and brutal slaughter and in some manner which is beyond my comprehension, I died as well. 

About a decade went by and if I wouldn’t have had my beautiful living daughter to raise, I would have killed myself.  She was my only purpose in living.  I felt powerless over evil and I felt as though it consumed me.  I reached for the Scriptures, and all alone, in my isolated pit, I read the bible, a little every day. 

I believed that I had committed the ‘unforgivable sin’, and that I was destined for hell.  One day I got on my knees and asked God to tell my babies that I was sorry. 

I’ll never forget that moment when I heard God speak to me.  In my inner ear I heard him say this:  “They’re praying for you now.”  I cried a river. 

This was the pivotal moment of my entire life!  From this I realized true love.  I had not known a love like this ever before.  I knew this unconditional love of my children was from God, and I just knew that if they could forgive me, then He forgave me!  I knew it came through them from Him. 

I turned my life around.  I began to love Him because He first loved me.  He gave me power over the evil through grace and public confession, the Word of God, obedience, prayer, a ton of fasting, and perseverance.  If I had known about the power given to our Priests in the confessional it would have been a lot easier and I and my daughter would have had much less to sacrifice.  Alas, I trust it will all work out for our good.

Eventually I trained as a Nurse.  Wouldn’t you know I was assigned to the O.R. on abortion day.  I observed in pre-op the many women who would suffer that day.  Some came in with men who seemed cold and forceful.  Some women looked depressed and empty.  In the O.R. I was in conflict.  Today I regret that I didn’t speak out and tell them what I knew.  I stood next to my abortionist and said nothing.  At the time I was focussed on forgiving him as I had been holding a lot of anger.  I knew if I said anything I would lose my opportunity to become a Nurse.  Ironically, the nursing profession is known as one that ‘eats their young’.  Today, I wish I would have spoken up and suffered the consequences.  I observed one procedure which fulfilled the expectations of my instructors, and then I exited the room and went into the Recovery Room.  There I witnessed the women waking up crying.  We didn’t share any words, I just prayed for them.  
After a decade of hospital nursing and coming to terms with the fact that the system is poisoned by this human sacrifice of abortion, I could no longer remain therein.  My refusal to cooperate anymore did cost a lot, and it took another decade to pick up the pieces. 

I have a strong desire to empower our health care professionals so they can bring honour back to the medical professions by speaking out and refusing to do the evil.  Today, I am nursing our community back to health by activities specific to pro-life ministry and I am grateful for the privilege.  God willing, I will be able to continue and step by step, one heart at a time, be a part of a life giving movement to transform a culture. 

   
   
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