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Victoria
Pennsylvania,
United States
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My name is Victoria. I am here on behalf of my 3 aborted children, Matthew, Thomas & Katherine.
I had my abortions because the men in my life told me i had to abort them. My last abortion was done at 4 months. I felt there was no way out, i felt trapped. I was dropped off at Planned Parenthood, and went in alone, and petrified.
At that abortion mill, I was told that "it's the best thing to do, you won't feel anything and it's only "a blob of tissue". The nurse escorted me to the "procedure room". The room was cold, with a distinct smell. While waiting for the pain meds to kick in, I saw in the corner a large canister with a long tube and attached on the end was a very sharp object. Then I heard this sucking machine. The doctor took that tube with the sharp object attached and shoved it up inside of me with such force, I went (suck in breath) and I couldn't breathe. The pain medicine never kicked in. I was crying, telling them the pain medicine isn't helping, I felt everything. I begged the nurse to help me, to stop. The pain was unbelievable! No one listened. They just continued to suck my baby through that tube into pieces. My body was shaking every time that doctor shoved that tube inside of me. My baby was being torn apart, limb by limb from inside of me, in pieces. I wanted to pass out but couldn't. I cannot even imagine the pain and suffering i caused my baby. What part of sucking a baby through a tube is natural? What part of tearing her body into pieces and being sucked through a tube is natural? I was her mother, my job is to protect her, how did i protect her. What I did to her, wasn't natural! If I was given the opportunity to have an ultrasound of my baby, I know I would never aborted her.
Immediately after my abortion, I felt empty, numb, ashamed, guilty, there was this hole in my heart, because I killed my baby, I hated myself and sobbed from the bottom of my soul for the anguish and pain I caused my baby! Not one word of comfort was given to me the entire time
I was at Planned Parenthood. My life was never the same after that happened. I turned to drugs, alcohol and sex to try to numb the pain and forget. It didn't matter how hard I tried, I'd wake up the next morning with the same pain, guilt, low self-esteem and anguish. For over 30 years I suffered, wondering what my children would be like. What color is their hair, their eyes? My daughter Theresa was denied her brothers and sister, I was selfish!
In 2005, I found help and forgiveness through Rachel’s vineyard. I learned the power of forgiveness, mercy and grace and was shown that god loves me, he forgave me and is a loving, merciful and forgiving god, I know that now. God took me, from the depths of hell into his love, mercy and forgiveness. God knew I aborted 2 sons and a daughter, but in return god gave me 2 grandsons and a granddaughter. Now I know abortion stops a beating heart! My children have a voice because I choose to be silent no more.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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