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Maureen
Illinois,
United States
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In 1975, at the age of 14, I was able to obtain an abortion without the knowledge or consent of my parents. I only landed up in the abortion clinic to take advantage of the free pregnancy testing, because home pregnancy kits did not exist. I actually walked out of the clinic and started to cry from pure panic at the elevator not knowing how I would break the news to my parents who hadn’t the slightest idea that I was sexually active. That is when one of the workers of the clinic coaxed me to come back inside the abortion clinic.
The worker at the clinic offered me something that I thought was an easy “out,” so to speak. What clinched the deal is when they told me my parents did not have to know about the pregnancy. I did not want to have an abortion, but I feared the consequences at home. The night before the abortion, I remember speaking to my baby while rubbing my abdomen and telling my child that I wish I could keep him/her.
I felt a deep loss and regret immediately after the abortion. Almost immediately, I wanted to replace the baby that I lost. At 15, I became pregnant again and met with the fury of my parents. I also married on my 16th birthday which was about a month before I was due to give birth.
Shortly after I gave birth to my daughter, I was holding her in my arms and began to weep. The tears were over my lost child. I could not believe I aborted something as precious as this child. I clearly understood that I was already a mother of two. One child was alive and one was dead.
Like many other post-abortive women, I experienced nightmares, depression and anxiety to point that I thought I might be dangerous to my other children, after all, I already took the life of one of them. These were the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind especially when my four other children were small. I truly needed to be healed.
It wasn’t until 30 years that I found the peace, consolation and healing that I desperately needed through a wonderful and kind priest. I named my child Mary Catherine, and I know we will one day meet again. Mary Catherine will never be forgotten though she only lived a brief 8 weeks. For a child is a child no matter how small.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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