Saving Others from Heartache

  Mary
Nebraska,  United States
 
  I had a lot of "freedom" growing up.  My dad wasn't around that much, and my mom was in and out of the hospital with depression.  I was very wild: drinking, smoking cigarettes and pot with my friends.  I started around 7th grade. 

When I was around 16 years old I dated a guy that was a jerk to me in junior high.  I had sex with him once or twice and got pregnant.  I was scared, panic-stricken, and embarrassed to be pregnant in a small town.  I made a mistake by telling him, but I needed some money to help pay for the abortion.  Another mistake was telling a friend who didn't keep it a secret.  So then there were rumors that I took the money from the guy but wasn't really pregnant.  The perfect, popular but wild child got the scarlet letter.  I told myself I didn't care what other people thought and continued the party lifestyle.
 
When I was a senior, I started dating an older guy; pretty sure he was a drug dealer.  When I got pregnant with him, he wanted to get married and keep the baby.  I did not want to have a relationship with this man for the rest of my life.  He wrote "baby killer" on the dust on my car in the driveway.  I'll never forget the physical pang of guilt that stuck in my gut when I saw that.  Not long after I decided God doesn't exist.  When you abort a baby, you abort a little bit of your soul. 

Finally, years later, I have been saved and born again, but it wasn't until after I read the Bible that God really showed me how wrong abortion is.  It's not "going to be" a baby, it IS a baby, from the day of conception.  I don't believe young pregnant girls know where to go to get the help they need and to see what options are available.  I don't believe they understand the pain that they will cause themselves when they realize years later that they have wiped out an entire generation. 

I know I'm forgiven by my Lord, and I have forgiven myself and finally apologized to my babies.  But if I could save one girl from the heartache of abortion, I would shout this out on the rooftops.  I am silent no more.
   
   
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