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Anna
Virginia,
United States
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Twenty-one years ago, I aborted my baby. I knew it was wrong with every fiber of my being. I was 17 years old, a senior in high school and already a teenage mother; my oldest daughter was one year old at the time. I regret every single day what I did to my baby and wish every day I could take it back, but I cannot.
Unlike some, I grew up in a Christian home, raised to know better, yet, I did it anyway; I was afraid. I was afraid of the reaction of my family and friends for putting myself in this predicament once again. I was afraid of my child’s father because, when I was pregnant with my first child, he became abusive. He was adamant about not having the baby. He drove me to the clinic and paid for everything. I remembering feeling alone, and I just wanted him to say everything would be fine if I kept the baby.
Everything about that day seems like a blur, but I remember the exact location, the room, the sound of that awful machine that sucked my baby away, and the silence I endured within afterwards because I felt I had no one to turn to. I felt so empty and sad, left to deal with my own self-torture.
This past year I received the healing I refused for so long by attending a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat, and if I can help heal another’s wound by letting them know about my baby, my faults and the Power in the Blood of Jesus, then how can remain silent?
Today I speak publicly for the first time about my daughter, who I named Jesse Grace. It is not easy because I hate what I did to her. If I could have only been stronger back then, she would be here now. I am sure any anger and sadness that may have occurred would have subsided by now because it has been 21 years!
I function because I know she resides in My Father’s loving arms, and I have the Hope in my heart that eagerly waits for the day I finally get to meet her and hold her myself. Therefore, until that day I will remain Silent No More in Jesse’s honor, always.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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