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Teresa
Illinois,
United States
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I told the baby father's that I was late, and he freaked out. I told him it could be because I was stressed. Never once did he text me and ask if I was okay. A few weeks passed and I took a test. It turned out to be positive. My world just fell apart. I became so depressed, I have cried ever since that day. I texted him, we talked and we both agreed on an abortion. I talked to a couple at church, telling them I had a friend who was pregnant and knew God and was baptized in Jesus’s name. They told me sin is sin, and a few other things. I then wanted to keep it. I wanted to talk to my brother, to help me talk to my parents. Then, after my brother and I talked I decided I didn't want it. Later on, I got in a fight with the father. It was to point I wanted the baby out of me, and I wanted nothing to do with it.
The day of my procedure, it was horrible. I felt so alone and cried to whole time. It was horrible, it was like a part of me died. I wish I could take the day back. A week later it was my birthday.
I have been so depressed, not into anything. Work was so hard, because I was a teacher in a day care. I would be crying off and on. My kids (at work) would be fine and laughing and smiling, then I would start to cry, and they didn't know what to do. I told them I was happy because I loved them so much. I wouldn't eat, I started to have headaches, and I couldn't sleep at night. The day of the procedure would pop up in my mind, seeing myself telling the father I was pregnant.
I finally told my pastor at church what had happened. It bothered me more because I didn't trust God. I went on my fear. Finally, I did find a support group, but they told me to wait until January and, hopefully, they would find me someone to talk to. I just called them and asked, and there is no one really to talk to me.
Thanksgiving came, Christmas came, and New Year’s, and I could have cared less about them. I used to love decorating the house with Christmas lights, and this year I could have cared less. I wanted nothing to with any holidays and my birthday. I have been reading the Bible and talking to God. Some days are better than others.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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