Learning Joy

  Julia
Ontario,  Canada
 
  I am Julia from Toronto, Canada. I had an abortion because: it seemed to be the way to handle the my situation of a new job with school debts and no savings; my peers were single and childless too; certain childhood events had hardened my heart; - so abortion was the only avenue I considered, and it would be my secret.

The abortion took place in a major hospital, under anaesthetic, with a doctor I trusted. Everyone, including me, played their part to get it over and done with, like a well-rehearsed play. I even returned to work the next day.

But years later, after marriage and following the birth of my wonderful children I experienced: nightmares, insecurity, distrust, anxiety, and indecision.  I could not manage basic day-to-day living, and my life spiraled downward into depression.
For 13 years I went from therapy to therapy, but nothing helped. My marriage failed. Why couldn't the deterioration of my life be fixed?

Finally, one day my secret was exposed when I read the words: "If you are depressed from having had an abortion, help is available..." My entire body went numb! Depression = abortion. Abortion = depression. The truth hit me AND my body knew it!  I called the post-abortion support group for help.

I journeyed through a healing process by sharing my secret with other men and women. I learned the most wonderful things: My baby is real! She is with God. It is OK to grieve. I repented my sin AND received forgiveness - although it took a while to learn to ACCEPT forgiveness. And you know what else?! I am learning what JOY is now!

I regret my abortion. I don't want you OR anyone to suffer as I had. So I am silent no more!
   
   
Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org