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Leslie
California,
United States
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My poor stepmother married my father when she was 20 and pregnant with his fifth child. Their marriage lasted fifteen years. She was on contraception after the birth of her daughter, who I helped her raise, being twelve years older than my sister.
My mother had been killed in a car crash just a year and half before they married. Her `ghost` haunted my father, as he had been driving the car when she was killed. My parents used contraception and indeed, I am a “diaphragm baby,” unplanned. My mother was using the diaphragm when she got pregnant with my brother and me. Funny story - my brother and I found her diaphragm under her bed when we were helping her by changing the sheets. We did not know what it was, and we threw it around the room like a Frisbee, a mini Frisbee. I always hated Frisbees, until I met and had an affair with the son of the man who invented it! We even talked about having a child together.
But back to my stepmother. She got pregnant after fifteen years of marriage and aborted the child. I learned about the abortion in a sneaky way - HER sneakiness. She put her medical record on the counter top next to the sink with the diagnosis showing through a transparent sleeve. She did not TELL me about it. My father told me she was “having a procedure”…she had had some cervical dysplasia treated. But this time the medical record said “TAB-therapeutic abortion.”
I had told some Catholic friends the year previous that I would abort my pregnancy. But I wasn’t pregnant from a date rape situation where I had exposed myself to dangerous people, when a friend had been murdered and I thought I should comfort her boyfriend, who then took advantage of me. I was promiscuous from an early age, trying to have sex with men when I knew I was not ready. I never got pregnant. I would withdraw from the sexual act. So my stepmother was dealing with a lot with me. And my father was living with terrible guilt about my mother.
I feel terrible about my step mother having an abortion. I had suggested to her that she have another child, but she said she had enough children.
Please pray for my step mother’s daughter, who is now 51 and mentally unstable. She was pregnant twice and lost both babies naturally, through miscarriage. But she and my step mother and I have a dangerous relationship because she is unstable and so am I, being bipolar.
Please pray that the “ghosts” of my REAL Mother, who died when I was nine (I am 63 now) and my step mother, her unborn baby, and my little sister’s babies can all be at peace.
There are so many levels of PAIN in our lives.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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