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Mary Anne
Kansas,
United States
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My name is Mary Anne. As an 18 year old in college in 1975, I found myself pregnant. My boyfriend and I were aware of Roe vs Wade court decision—we thought if the government said it was okay, it was okay to abort. If the doctors said it was just a “glob of protoplasm" must be okay to abort! My boyfriend told me to do what I wanted—he didn’t try to persuade me to keep the child. I aborted out of shame and embarrassment and wanting to hide the truth from my parents.
Jacob was a hospital abortion. My boyfriend took me. I remember IV's and extreme physical pain. I was drugged up and couldn't walk to car. It was days before I woke up. After the abortion, I suffered horrific periods, PID, endometriosis, ovarian cysts and had a hysterectomy in 2010 to rule out ovarian cancer.
What I did not know was the physical, psychological and SPIRITUAL adverse reactions to what I did.
We married to fix the "problem" and had a replacement baby. Divorce followed.
I suffered for years with unrecognizable guilt, shame, and sorrow and had a series of bad relationships. I'd get pregnant again and abort. I felt numb. I had five abortions. I have five children in heaven and five on earth.
I had suction abortions—I can hear the sound in my senses and my soul. Animals had more rights than my children. Thank God that while they could suck out their lives they could not suck up their souls!
I pretended to be happy in front of my kids, all the while having anxiety attacks and nightmares. It was a spiritual hell.
I was healed by answering my Savior’s knock on the door of my soul. I answered Jesus after 33 years. In 2007 I began my healing journey. I attended Rachael’s Vineyard and had a beautiful memorial service for my beloved babies. They are praying for me to get to heaven. Jesus’s Mercy is bigger than what I did to them. For them I will be silent no more, Thank you Jesus!
In loving memory of Jacob Aloysius, Sara Anastasia, Timothy Barthlomew
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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