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Christy
Ohio,
United States
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I was 16 years old when I became pregnant by a boyfriend who was 21. I was in a panic. At Planned Parenthood, they told me that abortion was a simple procedure, just the removal of a clump of cells, like a tumor. They told me it would solve my problem and I could go on with my life as if I had never been pregnant. They told me my family didn’t need to know. What they didn’t tell me would haunt me for the rest of my life.
At about 12 weeks pregnant, there was no exam beforehand, just forms to fill out. My mind was numb as I willed myself not to think about it. It was painful despite the sedatives. I never met the doctor before or talked to him after. I was one of a long line of faceless clients, ushered in and out of the abortion mill, like an assembly line.
As the sedatives wore off, tears began to stream down my face. I cried silently because I suddenly realized that what they had told me was a lie, it wasn't just a clump of cells; it was my baby, gone forever, thrown out like a piece of trash, and in my selfishness I had allowed it to happen.
How does one live with that? I went into denial. I buried the feelings deep inside myself, pretending it had never happened. But it changed who I was, not trusting myself or others. Eventually I chose sterilization rather than face another pregnancy. I had grown up wanting children and a family but that dream was gone, I felt I didn't deserve it.
Over many years I contemplated suicide. The last time, I reached out to a God I had never known, and I begged Him to help me. He answered me with a love I had never experienced before. It awakened my soul.
As much as I knew Jesus had forgiven me, I could not forgive myself until I found healing through a wonderful program called Rachel's Vineyard where I was finally able to find true peace in my life.
God let me know that my child was a boy and I named him Tommy. He is the reason I can no longer remain silent about the truth of abortion and the terrible physical, mental and spiritual effects it has on women and everyone involved in it. And that is why I am Silent No More.
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign: Reach Out - Educate - Share
www.silentnomoreawareness.org |
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