I was 17 years old when I became pregnant. I was afraid to tell my parents and waited until I was five months pregnant. My mother, who at the time worked for New York University, arranged for me to have a saline abortion at Bellevue Hospital. The day of the abortion I was dropped off at the hospital. Saline was injected into my womb with a needle approximately six inches long. I could feel the hot fluid that would burn and kill my baby enter my body. I then waited about 24 hours before labor began. I went through labor and delivery by myself with no medication and gave birth to my dead baby. I later found out it was a baby boy.
My life spiraled into a life of self-hatred, drugs, alcohol, and wrong relationships. I ended up having three more abortions. Each time I felt like my life was being sucked out of me. I felt dead inside, empty. I tried to fill the emptiness with more drugs, alcohol, and relationships. I hated myself and what I had become. I wanted to die.
I lived a life of self-destruction for ten years until I gave my life to Jesus Christ. He forgave my sins and delivered me.
It wasn’t until twenty-six years later that I heard about post abortion healing. I went through the Bible study and found a deeper healing and restoration in my life that only God can give. I finally feel free from the shame, and that´s why I am silent no more!