I was a senior in college and my boyfriend, at the time, was finishing up his medical residency in Mexico. With only a few months left to graduate from Arizona State University, I was excited and hopeful to start the next phase in my life. I went for Spring Break to visit him and got pregnant. Not knowing that there was a baby, but a clump of cells I ignored the signs. However, I did share my intuition with him to which he dismissed the notion of it and told me to wait until I went back to visit him when I finished my Spring semester. He confirmed my erroneous belief at around 7 weeks. I aborted my baby because of lack of courage, character, and information.
When making the decision I felt pressured, alone, uncomfortable, and scared. The father researched and initiated the abortion. As the pain intensified, it was like my body was preparing itself to give birth by experiencing dilatation and loss of blood. Usually, what would be a cause of joy and anticipation from such labor resulted in years of self-condemnation and pain. My abortion was not immediate, it took time. I felt regret, while also feeling alone and isolated in my emotional pain.
After being convinced that I would be fine I started to believe this and decided to keep this a secret from everyone, pretending I was fine. As time went on after the abortion, I noticed an intense apprehension and fear to date men. I found help around two years after aborting from a pastor from a Catholic Church that recommended that I attend Rachel's Vineyard.
Like the hemorrhaging woman from the New Testament of the Bible, I wanted to be healed. I don't want other young women to go through what I have experienced. Life is short, and every life is sacred and beautiful! God's unconditional love, mercy, and forgiveness is far greater than our mistakes.
Forgiveness is possible!