Hi, my name is Irene and I'm the Los Angeles regional coordinator for silent. No more. 20 years ago, I was in a crisis pregnancy. I felt alone scared. I was so confused. When I walked into the abortion clinic, it was like I had a dollar sign on my face and a number on my back. It felt like I was part of a herd. When they told me to go inside the room, they laid me down. And when they laid me down, one of the workers, she was above me and she said, my goodness, look at your eyes. Look at the fear in your eyes. And she told the abortionist, come here and look at the fear in her in her eyes. And the abortionist came over and walked to me and she said, is this your first abortion? And I said, yes, it is.
And she goes, don't worry. Don't worry. it's not a big deal. The biggest lie I've ever heard was don't worry. It's not a big deal. When she injected a chemical into my abdomen, my daughter started kicking and punching me. She was fighting for her life. And it was at that time when I got out of this chaotic haze, this chaotic shadow that I was in because I felt my daughter fighting for her life. And I was in there for about five or 10 minutes in the room. They then put me in another room. And in that room, there was about 10 women laying on little beds and they were all on their side and many were crying silently. They were on their side and I could just see their tears coming down from their face. And I was one of those women.
I cried silently. They gave me something sweet to eat and orange juice to drink. And after 30 minutes they told me to come back the next day, because you see, my daughter was six months when I ended the life, when they decided to end her life. And when you're that far along in pregnancy, it's a multi-day procedure. Well, as soon as I left, I went straight to my mother. I told her what I did and I needed help. And she took me immediately to a local labor and delivery hospital. They hooked me up to a monitor and the doctor was actually hopeful because we heard my daughter's heartbeat and it was a regular normal heartbeat. But soon after a couple hours later, he came in and he said that he talked to a specialist and the specialist said that the chemical that they gave me would soon deteriorate my daughter's heart.
And they encouraged me to go back to the abortion clinic because it was easier to take her out piece by piece then it was to have her whole. Well, after my horrific experience there, there is now way that I could go back there. And so instead I stayed up, I came back to the hospital the next day and they put me on the ultrasound and my daughter had passed. And after seven hours of labor, I gave birth to a most beautiful yet lifeless baby girl named Leonore Bridget. She looked just like a newborn baby, but she was much smaller. I touched her hands. I played with each of her toes in my fingers, I caressed her. I just looked down on her and I'm crying and my tears are falling on her face. And I'm saying, I'm so sorry, Lenore. Mom was confused. I love you. I didn't know what else to do. Please forgive me.
I wrapped her up like you do newborn babies. And I held her. My parents got to hold her for a while. And a couple hours later, the nurse came in and said it was time to say goodbye. So I did. I had my last moments with her, kissing her again, telling her how, sorry I was, how I was just so confused. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to seek help. I was just so confused. I, I bought the lie of abortion, that it's a quick fix and it's not a quick fix. And the nurse grabbed her from me and I gave her my last kiss and she walked my daughter out of the room. And a few days later, my family was left with the daunting task of planning her funeral. And now she has been buried in Southern California.
I had to tell my seven daughters, my six daughters and one son that the same mother they knew who loved them, who cared for them, who nurtured them, who was overprotective of them was the same mother who ended the life of their sister, the same mother that robbed them from dancing, with her playing with her, bonding with her. It is unbearable. I stopped countless generations from ever existing, but I stand before you today through the grace of God, because he has healed me. And that is why I am silent. No more.