I had an abortion because it was the very start of quarantine when I found out that I was pregnant. The baby's father and his family had told me that if I wanted a place to live, I would have to get an abortion and they would pay for it to happen. During the procedure I experienced all the doctor's and nurses at the Planned Parenthood in Redding continuously asking me if I was making the decision on my own and if I was sure I wanted to go through with it.
Immediately after the abortion, I felt like a failure to my unborn child, especially after taking the second pill. All because I needed a place to live, and I didn't feel safe telling the father's family no, I was the one to end my child's life. As time went on after the abortion I felt and experienced shame and guilt, grief like I've never experienced before, and regret because the week after the abortion was confirmed to have passed by the doctor, the baby's father had broken up with me and I was left on my own, living in my car during the hot summer in Northern California.
I found help and forgiveness through my friends who run pro-life San Francisco and my little church in Redding who prayed for me and the unborn baby who had never gotten the chance to experience being Earth-side. After 2 years of grief and regret, I am open on telling my story of abortion and my mental health and healing process receiving God's word once again and forgiving myself, I finally feel free from the shame and that's why I am silent no more!