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Testimonies
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Healing and Peace
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Barbara
Nebraska,
United States
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I REGRET WITH ALL MY HEART HAVING ABORTED MY BABIES.... HAVING BEEN SO BLIND NOT TO REALIZE WHAT I WAS DOING TO MY TWO BABIES AND TO ME AND TO GOD, THE CREATOR OF LIFE!
I HAD WRONG, CONFUSING INFORMATION AND WAS AFRAID OF BEING A MOM AT THAT POINT OF MY LIFE. I WAS AFRAID OF BEING A MOM BY MYSELF AND I WAS ALSO VERY AFRAID TO LOSE MY BOYFRIEND. I WASN'T REALLY THINKING ABOUT MY BABIES!!!!
THE PROCEDURE I EXPERIENCED WAS AT A CLANDESTINE CLINIC WERE THE DOCTOR CONVINCED ME WITH LIES AND CHARGED ME VERY LITTLE MONEY AND HAD EVERYTHING SET AND READY TO DO IT SOON. THE SAME DOCTOR PERFORMED BOTH ABORTIONS. HE LIED, TELLING ME IT WASN'T A BABY YET, THAT I COULD WALK OUT WITH NO HARM. I BELIEVED AND DIDN'T ASK MORE. I JUST WANT IT OVER WITH. I WAS ONLY THINKING ABOUT ME. I WAS SELFISH. I WALKED OUT PREPARED TO BLOCK MYSELF FROM WHAT I HAD DONE AND TRIED TO CONTINUE WITH MY LIFE AND, EVEN IF I DIDN'T REALIZE IT, ALSO WITH OUT GOD.
NOW I REALIZE NOTHING IS WORTH DOING THAT. I WANT TO HELP OTHERS TO NOT TAKE THAT PATH AND GIVE THEM COURAGE TO RESPECT THE GOD-GIVEN LIFE OF THEIR OWN CHILD NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION THEY ARE IN. I WANT TO HELP OPEN THEIR EYES TO BE SAFE AND LOVE THEIR CHILD, THEIR NEW PRESENT. ABORTION DOES AFFECT YOU IN MANY HARMFUL WAYS. IT SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION FOR ANY WOMAN.
MY GIRLFRIEND TRIED TO STOP ME, BUT MY MIND WAS SET. I KNOW IN MY HEART IF SOMEONE HAD PRAYED AND BEEN OUTSIDE THE CLINIC THAT DAY I WOULD HAVE SEEN THEM OR HEARD THEM ... I WOULD PROBABLY NOT HAVE DONE IT.
ONE YEAR LATER I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN WITH MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND. HE DECIDED I SHOULD NOT HAVE THE BABY...HE PROMISED WE COULD HAVE ANOTHER ONE LATER, ONCE WE GOT MARRIED. HE TOOK ME AND MADE ME PAY HALF OF THE PROCEDURE! AFTER THAT, HE MADE SURE I WAS OK AND AFTER THAT DAY WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT WHAT WE HAD DONE. I NEVER MENTIONED IT TO ANYONE EITHER. I REMEMBER EXPERIENCING A DEEP, AWFUL SORROW WITH TEARS AND DEEP SADNESS DURING THE ABORTION.
I KNEW IT WAS WRONG. I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT BUT I WAS ALREADY THERE.... MY BOYFRIEND WAS OUTSIDE... I WAS VERY CONFLICTED AND REGRETTED IT, MY WORST DECISION.
I THEN TRIED TO CONTINUE MY LIFE WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHO LIVED WITH HIS MOM AND WAS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. AND AFTER EIGHT YEARS, I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD. I NOW AM A SINGLE MOM. HE TOLD ME TO DECIDE BETWEEN THE BABY OR HIM. AND I DECIDED FOR MY BABY!! OUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED. HE NEVER ASKED ME TO GET MARRIED. BUT I AM HAPPY FOR NOW KNOWING JESUS LOVES ME AND FOR HAVING BEEN BLESSED WITH MY BABY AND I AM DOING HIS WILL.
WHAT I REGRET THE MOST IS NOT HAVING MY OTHER TWO BABIES BECAUSE OF HIM AND MY COWARDICE AND MY BLINDNESS AND FOR NOT BEING CLOSE TO GOD. I DIDN'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND AND END THAT BAD RELATIONSHIP.... BELIEVE ME I AM VERY SORRY... AND WILL ALWAYS BE.
BUT JESUS MERCY IS INFINITE!!!!!! HE GIVES ME STRENGTH AND HOPE!
I FOUND HELP AND FORGIVENESS THROUGH JESUS, READING THE BIBLE, AND GOING TO CATHOLIC CHURCH. I WENT TO CONFESSION AND THAT HAS HELPED ME A LOT! I HAD NOT BEEN TO CONFESSION FOR ABOUT 18 YEARS. WHEN I WENT AND TOLD THE FATHER ALL MY SINS, I FELT RELIEVED, LOVED, FORGIVEN, HOPEFUL AND WITH PEACE. PLEASE GO TO CONFESSION YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GODS MERCY!!
I WANT TO TRY TO HELP OTHERS THAT HAVE GONE THROUGH ABORTION AND I WANT TO HELP END ABORTION AND SAVE BABIES. WITH JESUS AND THE VIRGIN MARY'S HELP I AM SURE I WILL.
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