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Testimonies
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I Didn't Know
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Patricia
Ohio,
United States
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As I write this, my daughter is about to give birth to my first grandchild. This is a true blessing. Please pray for a healthy delivery and that both mom and baby will be safe.
In 1979 I went to Kent State University at the age of 17. Scared and alone I met up with Alex. He gave me the attention I needed and gave me more…a pregnancy. I was only 17 and, because he was Hispanic, I knew that my family would not accept him or this child.
Surprisingly, what made my decision was a presentation I heard in high school. We had someone come into the school and discuss abortions. Ignorant at that time, to me abortion was just a procedure. I didn't know the love I would have for this child or the guilt I would have after my decision.
I made them put me under during the procedure, because I knew if I was awake I would not have been able to go through with it. I wish I would have walked away and had the child.
I married and had two children. I married a man I knew I didn't love…He was just a "settled for" man. I didn't think I was worthy of anyone else. He did drugs and drank, and I tried to save him. And I did…at least for a while. My marriage ended after 27 years.
After the 27 years…four months later… I had unfinished business with Alex. He came back into my life. We discussed and we cried about the unborn child. I thought we were meant to be together…but this ended also. He was a man with many women.
How would my life have been if this child was here on earth? How would his/her life have been? I know now that I should have had the baby and given this child a chance. I wanted to say I'm sorry! This should not have been my choice. God can only decide! Please forgive me!
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