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Testimonies
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Would I Have Chosen Differently?
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Lori-Lou
Ontario,
Canada
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My name is Lori-Lou. I grew up in a Catholic family and had a reputation for being a good girl. I loved children, animals, nature, and I wanted to one day be a mom. In 11th grade I started to date my first boyfriend. Despite my desire to wait for marriage, over the course of a few months our intimacy level slowly increased, and we became sexually active. Soon I was pregnant. I was very afraid of what people would think of me, of disappointing my parents, but mostly of what would become of the rest of my life. I decided right away to have an abortion, and the people in my life who knew went along with the idea and didn’t offer any alternatives. I wonder now if someone had encouraged me to consider adoption would I have chosen differently.
I was 16 years old, and I had an abortion. I was very nervous waiting at the hospital and was relieved to be put to sleep for the procedure. My boyfriend was there with me at the time supporting me, and I felt relieved when it was over. I did not ever want anyone to know I had an abortion, and I was ashamed, so I decided not to tell a soul. During the years afterward, my attitude changed about many things. I stopped believing in God and decided that “each to his own” was my belief system. I was not going to get married or have children, but now my ambition was to pursue a career and live the high life. I was also full of anger and had a low self-esteem.
When I was 21 I went on a youth retreat called “Search,” where I accepted God’s and forgiveness for me. I soon started working as a leader on those retreats where I told my abortion story to encourage people to confess their sins (because if I can be forgiven for this so can you for anything). That was the beginning of my healing process. I started returning to my true self again, to the person God created me to be, someone who loves God, children, animals, and nature.
Many years later I was a participant on Rachel’s Vineyard retreats for post abortive healing (twice). That was where I experienced a whole bunch more healing, especially from my anger. I still have room for more growth and healing, but I am well on my way thanks to God. Currently I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband and four children (all boys) who are here with me today.
My hope today is for people to know about the negative effects caused by abortion, which I have personally experienced, and I pray that we can lovingly work to help people choose life.
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