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Testimonies
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God Has Been Good
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Ronda
Texas,
United States
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At the age of 15 I met and fell in love with a 21 year old “Prince
Charming” who promised me the world. His promises to take me to
California to meet his family and give me a family of my own were more
than I could’ve ever dreamed of, so I ran away with him to California.
We hitch-hiked from Dallas to California, which was quite an adventure
for one of 15 years of age, but it didn’t take long for the nightmare
that was my life to begin. With little money in our pockets we grew
very, very hungry. My love was quite a talker and very persuasive, so
it didn’t take much for him to talk me in to doing "small" favors with
the people that picked us up for food. When you’re hungry and cold,
your perspective gets blurred.
We made it to California and made
our way to his house, only to find it abandoned. His mother had run
off with some man and left his alcoholic father to fend for himself in a
house with no electricity or plumbing, and with little or no money. It
wasn’t long before the county came and took him away.
My
“Prince Charming” said we needed to go to Hollywood, and that he had a
friend there that would get us jobs and a car. When we got there, my
love went inside and talked privately with his friend. They eventually
came out and showed me where we’d be staying. It was a little house in
the back yard. It had a bathroom, nice kitchen, and a big room with a
nice comfortable bed. It had a TV, radio, and ac/heat but NO WINDOWS.
It had only one door to the outside. My love told me to stay put, that
he was taking his friend’s car and was going to the store for some
groceries. Hours went by and I fell asleep waiting…he never came back.
When I awoke I wanted to go outside and see what was up. The door was
locked! His friend came in and gave me some food and told me my love
just left me behind because he had tired of me and didn’t want me
anymore. His friend said he would let me stay, but I’d have to do phone
sex for my food and rent because he could not afford me. That went on
for one week and then his friend came and took me to old men's home...
thus ... sold into child prostitution.
I prayed and prayed for
God to save me. After a period of three weeks, my love returned and
apologized to me for leaving and said he would’ve been back sooner,
except the car he had taken from his friend earlier had broken down.
Upon his return, he found his friend was not at home so he had to break
into my room to free me from my captive state. We decided to get out of
California and head back to Texas, and since we once again had no car
we were again forced to hitch-hike. Within five minutes we were picked
up by some missionaries who gave us food and a sense of ease. When they
learned of my story, they brought me home to my door step. They were
kind and gentle people, people of God who I know for sure had a hand in
them finding me.
Shortly after returning home I received news
that I was 13 weeks pregnant. My mom said I could marry my love and
have the baby. He had other ideas and bolted, never to be seen again.
My mom offered me the choice to keep the baby or abort it. She said
she’d take me to a planned Parenthood Clinic for some counseling, since
she didn’t know how to counsel me herself. I was told again that it was
my choice, but that since I didn’t know who the father was, there was a
50% chance of the baby being born addicted or retarded. They told me
life was hard enough as a single teenage parent but even more so with a
disabled child. I was told that at 13 weeks, it was just a fetus and
not yet a baby yet. They said I was so young and been through hell,
that I needed to have a chance at a normal life. So...I did it. I had
the abortion. It was an evil experience. I felt the presence of evil,
all around me. They drugged me. I couldn’t move. When it was over, I
knew I had done something terrible…I felt death.
There was a
woman in the clinic there pretending that she had an abortion, telling
all the ladies and girls coming out like cattle, that everything was
okay, and that we could go back to our lives or start over. I yelled at
her, crying at the top of my voice, “I killed my baby.” I was whisked
away to my mom’s car where she waited for me. I knew from my mom’s
silence that we’d never speak of this ever again.
Well, I’m now
45 years old and without a child. I am barren. I’ve had three
miscarriages and three tubular pregnancies. I died while getting a
blood transfusion during one of my tubular pregnancies. My heart
stopped, and I saw something that scared the hell out of me. I yelled
out the name of Jesus, and poof, I was back. Since that time, God has
performed miracle after miracle for me, even when I was running from man
to man searching for normalcy in my life.
I’ve never been good
at selecting the right partner to share my life with and, because of my
inability to bear children, I’ve lost numerous men who wanted to have
children and left me when they learned of my being barren. None could
afford adoption or didn’t want an adopted child, so they cut their
losses and moved on. Sometime later in life I saw what a 13 week baby
looked like. I crumbled inside…I asked for forgiveness and learned to
forgive myself also.
The pain from my decision will never leave
me, but I know I am forgiven. My God has been good to me through all
this hell that is my life. I’ve taught many, many children in and out
of church. God’s used me in many ways, even when I was addicted to
crack and meth. He’s given me many vision and dreams. He has brought
me a long way and through it all he’s always been there softly calling
me. A motorcycle accident I was involved in tore my leg off, but
doctors were able to save it and reattach it. With God’s grace and
healing touch I was healed. I went from a wheel chair, to a walker, to a
cane in just six months.
The scar is very faint, just enough
to show what God has done to save it. I dance beautifully with it.
There are some things I can’t do, like run or jog. Riding a bike is
dangerous because I have poor balance, but having my leg is worth the
loss of these things.
I’m writing all this for a reason. It’s
been bundled up inside of me for all these years, and I feel like it
needs to be told in hopes that someone might stumble across my profile
and benefit from my story. There is way too much to tell than this
little blog can hold. So many things I have seen that in our natural
state cannot be comprehended.
Thank you for reading this story and may GOD bless you today and every day in every way.
GOD is Good, all the time and all the time, GOD is Good.
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