My first two abortions I instantly regretted.  I felt I had no other choice; I had no money to care for them or support. This last abortion, however, I felt relief, which immediately I felt guilty about—relief because I get terribly sick while pregnant and I felt better afterward, and guilty because I felt I wasn’t human anymore. “How did I turn so heartless?” I thought. Though I remember crying during this last abortion it was surgical, and one of the ladies said, “Jesus loves you.”  That stayed with me and in a way hurt me, because I thought, “How can He love me now? How can He forgive me?”  I thought my soul is damned for good so I began to drink more and felt I became someone I wasn’t.

Then my father passed.  It was one of the biggest hits in my life; not only was I extremely close to him, but he was my #1 for big part of my life. What was worse but at the same time beautiful was that he passed away abruptly in front of me.  It haunts me, but I’m so grateful I was able to be there with him also.

I began going to church more and getting closer to God. I then realized that I needed forgiveness and healing. My first step was tonight going to my priest and confessing my sins he then referred me here. I am very grateful for this I feel I needed this to begin my healing. I am glad today that today I am silent no more!