In the 1970s I was living with my girlfriend, my Eve, away from my Catholic faith. I was responsible for her pregnancy and, like so many Adams do with their Eve’s, I told my girlfriend how it was not a good time for us to have a child, giving her all the lies that many men give to convince their Eves that abortion is the best way out of their problem.

Being the coward I was I didn’t even go with her. My Eve went to the abortion mill all by herself. I rationalized later that maybe if I had gone with her, I would have stopped her at the last moment. A rationalization because, truly, I was a coward and this was nothing more than conscience easing.

My Eve’s behavior quickly changed after the abortion, a change that was parallel to the guilt I was feeling.  We went to confession and saw a priest a couple of times for counseling but soon back fell into the same sinful lifestyle.

After a time we parted amicably. It wasn’t until decades later when I was in the seminary that I realized, through the grace of God, that not only was I responsible for the death of my baby but also the wounding of my Eve. I received permission from my spiritual director to look her up.  At the meeting I apologized for not standing up for her and our baby. In my apology I mentioned that I had named our baby Mary, and I believed she was in heaven. She then stunned me with, “We have two babies in heaven. I never told you. They were twins.”

At that moment I realized my healing involved the death of two children, Mary and Thomas, and the wounding of one woman, my Eve. I also realized that my apology to her and taking responsibility of the death of our two children removed a big obstacle to our healing.

I have been to three RV weekends.  A large part of my ministry involves speaking to men about not being Adams to their Eves and the importance of protecting our women from the wounds of abortion. I encourage all men who have been wounded by an abortion to learn the lesson Jesus’ mercy has taught me and to be Silent No More.