My abortion took place in the spring of 1971 in New York in a hospital.  I was treated like any other patient and felt no pain.  The doctor told my husband that our baby was a boy.  We have named him.  I also had three miscarriages due, I think, to a doctor pushing the IUD after I delivered our son.  

God was good and did bless us with a wonderful son.  I am sad when I think of my baby being scraped out because of my selfishness of not wanting a family so soon after marriage and the graduate school plans for my husband.  

For many years I was depressed and was in counseling.  At times, I was emotionally numb and I self-isolated.  I was humorless and negative much of the time.  I had a tendency of protecting others when there was no need.  What was most revealing was my tendency to quit or not finish things.  Even today, I have to watch out for that bad habit.  Abortion does have long lasting effects on a person’s life.

I was deeply moved when I was a juror for a case of DWI involuntary manslaughter of a 4-year old.  I was disgusted by the callousness displayed by the prosecutor and some of my fellow jurors toward life.   Being full of my own guilt, I was moved to go to confession which was the first step toward receiving forgiveness and healing.  

I worked through Stormie Omartian’s book, The Prayer that Changes Everything, answering chapter questions and writing praises which helped me to be healed.   I know that Jesus loves me and every morning I ask Jesus to “take me by the hand this day”.