Why couldn't I have been stronger?

I really didn't think it was for the best. How could that be, killing a baby? How could I ever have done something like that, I will never understand.

When I went to have the abortion they told me I was 10 weeks along, but the doctor at the hospital told me that I was 13 week[s] along already and if I still wanted to go along with it. I told him if I could tell my husband who was waiting for me outside in the waiting room with my son. I told him what the Doctor told me and that for sure the Baby was his and he said "no way" - for me to get myself back in the room and get it over with so we could leave. I felt I had nowhere to turn to. [How] could I have been so stupi[d]. Why couldn't I have been stronger and ha[ve] st[ood] up for what I . . . doing was wrong and would pay for it the rest of my life.

One thing I do know that I will never ever tell someone to take the easy out.