I had my first abortion not by my choice, but was pressured by my mother and my boyfriend. During the procedure, I experienced great sorrow, heartache because I wanted to keep my baby. Immediately after the abortion, I was in a deep depression, started drinking heavily and didn't care about anything. I became self-punishing, into self- degrading behavior, promiscuity, withdrawal from others and had suicidal impulses. As time went on after the first abortion, it became easy to have the other two without any feelings of what I was doing.
When I finally had my sons and was in a permanent relationship with their father before we got married, I had bonding issues with my children and marital stress because I couldn't show love and affection. Became secretive, had problems sleeping, no motivation, and had depression.
I found help and forgiveness through a church speaker about post abortion stress and healing. I attended Rachel's Vineyard retreat and Forgiven and Set Free bible study at my church. I also got involved with the Women's Care Center in Chino Hills as a trainee for the Forgiven and Set Free bible study. Now I'm involved with Whittier Pregnancy Care Center as one of the facilitators for the Forgiven and Set Free Bible Study.
God is so good! I have been truly been blessed being involved with helping other women.