For Ten Years

  Anonymous
,  United States
 
 

I was completely and helplessly overridden with guilt for ten years

I became pregnant while a junior in college. I believed that my parents would disown me if I was pregnant and unmarried. Without further consideration or counseling, I had an abortion.

I was told only that the decision had to be made within three days and if my blood was negative it would cost more.

The abortion was terrifying, gross, inhuman, horrifying - followed by feelings of guilt and unbearable regret.

I was completely and helplessly overridden with guilt for ten years. Gradually, I began to be obsessed with the thoughts of being a cold-blooded murderer.

After the abortion, I asked God to forgive me. Nothing helps a person who has experienced this get over it or deal with it. It even took me months to complete this form.

I think my entire life situation changed because I altered the situation to try not to disappoint my parents. 

   
   
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