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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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My Two Angels in Heaven
New York, United States

Dedicated to John and Mary Ann
I had my first abortion in 1976, when the fetus was 13 weeks old. I had it in the hospital and felt very much ashamed of what I had done. I hated the baby’s father so much. I saw this as a get-even answer. I was particularly hurt because the baby’s father said he could never marry me because I was German and stupid for getting pregnant in the first place. He was a Jew whose parents survived the Holocaust. This was like a double whammy.

My mom told me I was making a mistake and would regret it later. She was right. I would not listen. I have since forgiven him and prayed for the boy baby, who I named John.
About a year later, I found myself pregnant by a married man.  Naturally, he was not going to leave his wife for me. I felt particularly bad because I kept going to the doctor to see if I was pregnant. To make a long story short, I didn't find out until the seventh month. I got another abortion. 
In the hospital, they gave me prostaglandin to kill the baby. Later, the child was delivered dead in my bed. She was a girl I named Mary Ann. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on. I cried my eyes out. I never told my parents about this one because I was so ashamed over what I had done. 
I would never encourage someone in the same position to have an abortion. I would tell her to stick up for what is right whether she is married or not and not allow herself to be pushed around like I did. I was never the same.  I didn't trust anyone, especially men. 
It was many years before I met someone good. He knows my past and has loved me in spite of it. 


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