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I will be silent no more
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Sarah
Texas,
United States
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In today’s world, 115,000 babies are aborted each day. Abortion should not be an easy decision that you carelessly decide to make, and is not an idea that will not be forgotten and done with. Abortion can be psychologically traumatizing on a woman’s mind. Lack of confidence, anxiety, deep depression, regret and even suicide are likely to follow. I am a woman who has had an early term abortion and I will be silent no more.
The way I perceive life is that, it’s like a jig-saw puzzle; seeking to fill in the missing areas, moving and placing pieces without the slightest clue of whether the next piece you pick up will fit. I know a girl whose son just celebrated his fifth birthday. About to blow out his candles, I whispered in his ear, ”Don’t forget to make a wish!” He thought about it for a second and blew. He then looked at me with all the hope in the world and said, “I wished for a baby brother.” I replied, “Shhh, It will only come true if you keep it to yourself deep down in your heart and do not tell anybody else from now on.” He understood and said,”ok.” Little did he or anybody know, his mother was two weeks pregnant. God placed that piece of her puzzle in her life; yet, she failed to pick it up. It was not a coincidence or some ironic event that her little boy wanted a baby brother. The next correct piece of the puzzle in her life she should find should be to choose not to have an abortion and make her sons wish come true.
That little boy told me his wish for a reason, so that I might have some role in the decision his mother was going to be faced with in the next few weeks. A very significant piece of the puzzle in my life was that I whispered in his ear telling him to make a wish before he blew and that he told me what he truly wanted, and that was life. He did not want a new video game or toy, but life! With that being, I came to feel that I was supposed to help my friend save her baby and try my hardest to help anybody I could who now contemplates abortion.
The world today has put a huge black handkerchief on women’s eyes to make them blind; not being able to see the beauty in life. Scared alone, they feel that having an abortion is the only option. I am one of the many victims of being persuaded to believe by the father of my unborn child that he or she wasn’t wanted. I was young and terribly afraid of what everybody would think if they knew I was pregnant. Without the support of my unborn child's father or parents, I was persuaded to follow through with what I thought would be an easy pain free task because I was only two weeks. I was told it would be a simple, pain-free procedure. Blinded by the nurse with experience from a previous abortion, I believed that I simply had to take a few pills to take care of "it", and the only symptoms that I would have to deal with would be described as, "period cramps." Its sick that someone who has had this done before could be so brain washed by a certain way of thinking.
Sometimes in life, you are manipulated so much to a point of confusion, that you are forced to make a decision that you wouldn’t normally make under normal circumstances. What the staff at the abortion clinic does not tell you is that this decision is not a small or suttle one but will be a lifelong guilt that you will hold onto in your heart for the rest of your life causing possible insanity. Let me inform you that the information I am about to share with you is now what I call a night mare. Let me just add that sometimes all you need is the support from a woman who has experienced the procedure who now has a living child and will always regret the decision that I was manipulated to make, that I now have to live with the rest of my life.
Thinking back about this is like remembering a really bad dream. The lethal pills I was given to breakdown everything I had inside my womb in order to create a human-being, I was told was like having a normal menstrual cycle. Once the murderous and poisonous pills I was given kicked in I suddenly felt as if somebody had just stabbed me in the abdomen. Holding my stomach I ran to the bathroom in the hotel that I was staying at in order to hide from everybody, holding my stomach with thoughts of the pills were literally stabbing my unborn child. Even though I was told it was only a cell it was very painful. In so much pain I curled up on the bathroom floor, in tears, with the clinic on the line asking them how many pain killers I could take before I would over dose. Once I finally found the strength to walk to my bed and lay down with blood almost dripping down my leg because of how heavy the flow was. I laid there for a while, trying to numb the excruciating cramps and pains I was having as much as possible, and when I got up to go to the bathroom I felt as if my stomach had turned to Jell-o and thought all my insides were going to immediately drop to the floor. Calling the clinic frantically, I asked again about what else I could take and if what I was feeling was supposed to be happening because there is a risk of loss of too much blood which could lead to hospitalization. This process kept me up all night and it took my body at least a month to feel normal again. After the fact, I fell into a deep depression.
Seeking comfort from my boyfriend who was asleep, he didn’t seem to care about what I was going through and didn’t even wake up or respond to my cries of help. Just because your “man”, and I put man in quotes because a real man would never treat his supposed lover with such ignorance and negligence. Just because he does not seem to care about your feelings on having your child, I know now that you should never let that influence your decision in the slightest way. I now know in my life that there are other outlets in this world that will help young mothers in saving their child. There are people who would have a great sense of honor in raising that child, giving them all the love in the world. I have found comfort in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ is the only one who can ever make me feel better for the decision I have made. I strongly believe that end to abortion would end war and this world would be a brighter place.
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