I am a former pro-lifer. I must be honest with myself...eight years later and I still feel uncomfortable, horrible, and suicidal about being so weak when I made the decision and allowing myself to become influenced to make that decision. The abortion clinic could not have cared less about me, my baby, or the other women and children. They were driven by money and/or manipulation as well.
I regret it every single day. I know, by instinct, that I would have had a beautiful little girl. My life would had been tough, but that is what makes diamonds. And I could not stand the pressure at the young age of 19, ultimately. It is a sad realization, but it is true.
Aborting my child at 14 weeks was the worst and most shameful decision that I have ever made. I will never be the same. It was so unnatural, evil, and uncomfortable. I hated my life immediately afterwards.
Please, if you are considering abortion, know that you are doing the right thing by saving your child. Speaking from experience, I am more content suffering righteously from having a child with my 1st child’s father than suffering after not going through with having my second child with another man. My second child did not deserve to be killed because of my decision. I see my first child, and I ask myself so often, “What if I would have aborted him?” It is a terrifying feeling. I would die defending my son. Why did I not defend my 2nd child's life? Living a life of regret—of the would haves, could haves, should haves—is much worse than actually living with the challenges, taking them on and possibly conquering them, even with common set-backs.
God ultimately will judge me. I, now, live as best as I can as a newly born child of God. I know that you can as well.