Hi, I'm Betsy, I'm from Orange County. I had my abortion as a 22 year old, who had thrown caution to the wind. I had a whole career ahead of me, and then I faced this crisis pregnancy. When the father of my child learned of it, he agreed to marry me, but my parents convinced me to have an abortion, that my life would be ruined, my career would end, my marriage would end, and I'd end up being a single parent, possibly on welfare.
I was eight weeks into my pregnancy when I went to the local hospital. This was just prior to Roe versus Wade, and D&C's were legal in California with the hospital boards’ permission. My father was the chairman of the hospital board.
I went to that local hospital. I do not remember much about the procedure, however I do remember that for years and years I could not drive by that hospital without a terrible empty painful feeling, and all the time my anger for my parents grew, and I knew not why.
The abortion, like you've heard today with many other women, also haunted me for years. Life was expected to return to normal, but it never did. My relationship with the father, like others, ended very soon. And, as I sought to get back on with my life, I met a man who I thought I would marry, and I was passionately in love with him. But when he found out that I had an abortion, he said he would not marry me, that I was actually damaged goods.
And it was then that reality hit me, at least what I thought was reality, and see now is a lie—that I could never be good enough, good enough to be a mother, good enough to be anything in life. Chronic depression set in, trying to find acceptance, trying to bury my pain. And in my solace I bought things beyond my means, and of course racked up an overwhelming debt.
Then I met a man who had also had a crisis pregnancy. He's been my husband for 43 years. But he chose life, and his girlfriend did not have the abortion. Thank God. Chronic depression, financial irresponsibility, when coupled with the fact that I had infertility, eventually made me hit bottom with an emotional breakdown in the early 90's, nearly 25 years after I had had my abortion.
It was there in those depths that I met my Lord and Savior Jesus. It was there that I learned that I was unconditionally loved and He did not judge me. And it was there that He pointed me towards healing. With the help of Forgiven & Set Free Bible study, I grieved the loss of my son, Nathan Bailey. We had a memorial service for him. He would've turned 46 this past week.
I am grateful to know that Nathan is in Heaven along with my miscarried daughter, Sarah, and that one day I will see them again. And it is for this reason that I am silent no more in their honor.