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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Things Did Not Get Better
Stephanie
Ohio, United States

Where do I begin. I was in a very toxic relationship that started at 7 1/2. It was great at first, but eventually it became toxic not long after we started dating. It was bad. We fought and argued constantly. It was never ending. We both were miserable. 

About 15 months into the relationship, I found out I was pregnant. Yes, we obviously did not use protection. The arguing got worse at that point. My boyfriend at the time eventually told me that, if I wanted to stay with him, I would have to have no choice but to have an abortion. I wanted to stay with him, even though I wanted to keep the baby. I believed him when he told me that things would get better. So, I ended up having the abortion. Things did not get better. He ended up leaving me. 

The abortion affected so much of my life. The anger and hatred I had for myself and my ex affected every aspect of my life, even my relationships with friends and the relationship with the boyfriend I had after the abortion. I blamed everyone else for the choice I had made, instead of taking responsibility myself. 

It was another 2 1/2 years before I seemed counseling. The counseling that I received saved my life in more ways than I ever could have imagined. I was finally able to forgive myself and the ex who I was with at the time when I got pregnant. 

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