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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Silent No More – January, 2008 Speech
Nicole Peck, Regional Coordinator
Connecticut, United States

My name is Nicole Peck and I am a victim of the lies of abortion. I had an abortion at the age of 15 out of fear and shame. The abortion caused me emotional, physical and spiritual harm that I was never told could or would result. 

Unfortunately, the real truth about abortion was never given to me. The abortion facility never performed a pregnancy test or explained the procedure to me. I was never told about the risks of abortion such as death, breast cancer, endometriosis, and infertility. I don’t know if a doctor performed the abortion or if a nurse helped him. There was no counseling or compassion from the staff.  No one held my hand during or after the abortion.

What I remember most vividly is the sucking sound of the machine during the abortion and feeling like my insides would be ripped out. They provided juice, cookies and antibiotics after the abortion. The staff did their jobs and took my money and that was it! 

That’s the LIE!  It was not IT!  I felt like I had no other choice-my dreams of college and a career would be gone with a baby. Deep down I don’t think I really wanted the abortion, but could see no other way out. I was scared and felt alone in my relationship with my boyfriend! 

Immediately after the abortion, I felt relief.  I could move on now, or so I thought.  Emotionally, I was distant and empty after the abortion and contemplated suicide. On the outside everything looked good, but I had a huge hole in my heart that could not be healed. 

My relationship with the father ended when we graduated from high school and we never told our parents at the time. I really didn’t have much of a relationship with God at that time and prayed for Him to do something. I never asked God what he wanted for me and for the child.  I was in denial for many years before I faced the reality of what I had done and sought healing from God.

Abortion was supposed to help me and it didn’t. It created many years of anguish, lies and heartache because I refused to face it and I could not forgive myself.  I was NEVER able to conceive a child after my abortion. (I’m 45 years old now.)  The truth is abortion scars women!  The Good News is Jesus Christ and I found help, healing and forgiveness through the Holy Spirit and God. I was finally able to forgive myself after many years.  An important aspect of my healing was naming my child and placing him with God.  I always knew it was a boy and prayed for guidance for his name which is Peter.  I trust Peter is with God and looking down with a smile today and we’ll be reunited in Heaven.

There is a beautiful ending to my story that is just beginning and that is the adoption of our son, John Paul, from Guatemala.  We received him on Mother’s Day, 2007.  God has certainly blessed us in a way I could not have envisioned years ago.  He certainly has a plan for each one of us and it includes LIFE – for the born and unborn! I never want another woman to have to bear the scars, devastation, and pain of abortion as I have and that is why I will continue to speak out against abortion and be Silent No More!


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