On June 6, 1971 my life changed forever because of an abortion that I did not want, I did not arrange, and I did not pay for.
I was pressured into sex by the boy who took me to my senior prom. Then, when I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college, I became pregnant by him. When I told him that I was pregnant, he asked me what I thought we should do. I responded by saying we should get married.
He replied, “I am not getting married. There are people that can fix this.” He told me not to tell my parents that I was pregnant because they would be so disappointed in me, and because they wanted me to get a college degree.
He arranged the entire abortion. He picked me up at my house, hugged me all the way to that back ally entrance in Hempstead New York while telling me it would all be ok.
We went in and he talked to the person behind the desk. I remember him counting off hundred dollar bills. I remember a woman saying come with me.
I remember a lot of pain. My boyfriend hugged me all the way home and walked me to the door. He said he would call me later. He never spoke to me again.
I contemplated suicide by jumping off a building, then worried that if I survived how I would have to explain why and would have to say that word, ABORTION. Instead, I slept through my depression and failed out of college.
For 2 years I bounced from job to job. I finally realized that my life was going nowhere and asked to be readmitted back into college. It was an all-girls Catholic College. I know if they knew my truth in 1973 they would never have let me back in.
I became very defensive, not admitting to being wrong about anything, and not being able to take even constructive criticism. This affected my personal and professional life.
For almost 50 years, I hated that guy and I hated myself. I received healing through a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat and a SaveOne Bible study with PATH in Atlanta. After all of those years of carrying shame, guilt, pain, depression and dysfunction, I was finally able to receive true peace and healing that is priceless.
The law in NY State at the time of my abortion was a precursor to Roe V Wade. Whenever I hear the number of abortions since Roe v Wade I want to scream, “THERE WERE MORE!” My child, my child..
That is why I will be SILENT NO MORE.