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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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I Still Wonder What this Child would have Become
Connecticut, United States

I was 20 when I had an abortion. I am now 70 and though I’ve healed, I still wonder what this child would have become. I went on to marry and have 3 children and one miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy. The miscarriage is what triggered the need for counseling. The miscarriage due to an ectopic pregnancy and I ended up in the hospital overnight. I was put on a maternity ward and up to that time, I had not thought about the abortion. Suddenly, I was hearing babies crying from rooms. This was my first pregnancy after I married, so I really wanted this baby. 

The crying infants made me cry as I mourned the loss of my first, and now second pregnancy. That night I asked God to forgive me. It was the first time I asked him. I was so young when I had the abortion that all I wanted to do is forget about it. 

But when I was ready to have a baby and lost it, I realized what I had done and tried to cover up. That’s when I asked God to forgive me.

However, after discharge, the doctor told me to heal and not have intercourse for 6 weeks and to come for another visit so he could check me out.  Six weeks later I was in his office, and he examined me. He had a strange look on his face. He asked me if I had my period yet. I said no. He said, “Donna your uterus is swollen and that’s not normal.”  He ran bloodwork and it came back the next day ‘pregnant’.  He then asked me if I had intercourse and I said no.

Then he did an ultrasound and sent some blood to another lab. He thought I might have a cancerous growth. But it wasn’t.

God heard my prayers. I was pregnant and the fetus was gestational about 8 weeks.  The doctor told me that I likely had one in the Fallopian tube which was ectopic and one in the uterus. My oldest son, Matthew, was the one who survived. He went through my surgery and had no ill effects from the whole experience. 

God is good. And though I wish I had never had an abortion, the experience, forgiveness and His abiding love and faithfulness led me to a closer relationship with Him.  Today I am a nurse-pastor and teacher, mom and grandma!  Thank you for this opportunity to share my story.


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