When I was a teenager, I thought I was in control of my life. I made terrible choices and soon found myself pregnant. The circumstances filled me with shame. I didn’t tell anyone other than the father. I needed to erase this so no one would know what a terrible person I was.
I went to Planned Parenthood. The staff lied to me and told me I had an ectopic pregnancy and I could die if I didn’t hurry and get an abortion.
They say abortion should be between a woman and her doctor. I didn’t meet the abortion doctor until I was on the table. He didn’t say anything. Not until I started crying and told him it hurt and to stop and that I didn’t want to do it. The only words he spoke to me were: “You should have thought of that before.”
The pain was so great that I got sick and threw up and the nurse yelled at me.
Soon I sank into anger, depression, nightmares and suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t let anyone find out my secret, so I isolated myself. What was supposed to be an eraser, hadn’t erased anything at all and it was destroying me from the inside.
I believed God could never forgive me, but I was so desperate, I went to church. Jesus lifted me from my black pit of despair, He gave me hope and healing.
Recently some people were so triggered by my description of how Planned Parenthood staff treated me, they tried to re-write my story, to wash away the ugly truth that they couldn’t stand to hear. They couldn’t bear to have their sacred cow exposed for the vile thing it is.
I tried to hide in shame, but now I use my voice to expose the lies, to expose the dark underbelly of the abortion industry and to offer God’s mercy and grace to anyone who experienced the devastation of abortion. That is why I am silent no more.