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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Abortion is Devastating and Causes Many After Effects
Massachusetts, United States

I am sharing my story of abortion because I still deal with feelings of depression and guilt almost 32 years later. I was in my 20s when I made these decisions. I wanted my freedom not to be tied down by what I thought was an inconvenience as I worked and had a drinking relationship with the father. I ruined my relationship with the man that would've been a good father. He left me after I threatened to go through an abortion because we had a fight. Words have power and I will always regret what I've said as I was just upset with him. I eventually went through the second abortion even though I didn't really want to. I didn't listen to that still small voice in my head even though I tried to wait it out hoping that man would come back and we could make up. I had to make a decision so at 16 weeks I caved and went to the clinic and justified my decision to myself to go through another abortion. 

Going through my abortions which made me drink more, I remember the experience of the abortion being drugged and relaxed but the experience was terrible. I felt a tugging sensation going through this procedure it was horrible. In fact the procedure had to be done two times as not everything was gone. I remember looking back, I could not listen to a vacuum or see a pregnant woman because it brought back painful memories. I drank a lot more to numb myself from the pain. I eventually became homeless and lost my job. 

After the procedure I immediately felt relief, I remember sleeping to recover and had a strange feeling something changed within me which made me feel like a murderer. I have struggled with depression and insomnia ever since my abortions  I am now in my 50s. I was given the chance a few years later after my abortions to meet my son's father and give life. I see things very different through a mother's eyes and still struggle very much with the decisions I've made to go through two abortions.

I speak first hand how devastating an abortion is and the after effects of having an abortion. I can never in good conscience recommend an abortion. I consider myself pro- life today and wish I could change these decisions I've made.

I am coming to terms with myself and my past which is  a struggle, but I thank God for his mercy and hope sharing my story will help someone else struggling with the issue of post abortion and especially any woman considering to have an abortion to choose life. The best gift is a baby. I will always regret my decisions, but decided even though I've carried the shame of abortion to be silent no more"


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