I had an abortion because my child's father and I had a large age gap. He was 15 years older than me and I was 21 just graduating college. I had no home, no job, and was very sick from being pregnant. Uncertainty around my pregnancy and life after birth, along with legal threats had me terrified that my child would be fought over, tossed around, and overall living without peace.
The abortion was very casual and no one seemed to care about my nervousness or life stressors. The pain and bleeding didn't come until after I got home. For a few years I thought it was the right decision, but once I had a child and found a lot of resources for motherhood - I became sad, angry, and filled with pain. I learned the truth about my situation was this: I had resources and options available to me. And the pain of abortion isn't easily solvable. It seems to grow with time.
After 6 years I reached out to the baby's father and he told me he was living in despair, regret, and was sorry for not doing more for us. We discussed a few bible verses together. He told me that my parents had asked him to stop me from making that decision, so healing really began when I learned that I wasn't alone in my pain.
I trust in God's grace and mercy on me, and I have hope from the scriptures.