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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Angelina's 2022 March for Life Ottawa Testimony
Angelina
Ontario, Canada

My name is Angelina Steenstra. I AM the National Coordinator of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, which began, in Canada, in May 2004. 

I AM a woman who was the victim of date rape at the age of 15. I AM a woman who remembers the fear, loneliness, shame and despair of that teenage girl who reached out to an abortion help line to gather information. 

I AM a woman who believed the “counselor” who said abortion was the obvious solution/choice based on my fears. I feared the loss of the love of my family, of having to leave high school, of being a single mother, of a burdensome and even hopeless future. Not grasping the full extent of abortion and its consequences, present and future, I decided to go through with the appointment. Accompanied by lies and deception, I walked through the door of an abortion killing center, paid $250, signed a consent form, was led to a room and left alone to await my turn. I AM a woman who watched the remains of my child fill up a large jar located next to my right foot. In a few short minutes, amid excruciating pain, the life of my child was ended.
I left my child at the abortion mill, dismembered in pieces, while I walked out alone, crying, with the sights and sounds of that terrible procedure indelibly seared in my mind and heart.

Alone I faced the reality that I could not undo what had happened. I was powerless to undo Death. Burdened by the guilt of my secret, I tried to drown the interior pain and sense of loss through alcohol, drugs and serial sexual encounters. I slid into self-loathing, self-rejection, and self-condemnation.  I cut myself off from family, friends and God. I entered a deep abyss of loneliness and isolation. Abortion, the “cure” for my crisis pregnancy, had led to chaos, inside and out, and set me on a course toward suicide. But through a grace from God that came in answer to my inward cry for help, I was delivered from the temptation to seek relief in death!  Through a phone call I was re-oriented toward God and Life. 

In time I married, and 7 years later conceived our first child, Joseph Michael. But he died at about 8-10 weeks gestation because his pregnancy was ectopic, outside the womb.
As I grieved the loss of our son, I was drawn back in time to my first pregnancy and subsequent abortion. My Healing journey began as did the journey towards assisting others through Post-Abortion Healing Prayer Ministry.

My heart turned toward my child whom I named Sarah Elizabeth. She became real and personal to me, no longer a positive “pregnancy test” or a product of conception in a glass jar.  She was a human being who was not only my daughter but a child of God with a soul like her brother, whom I had just lost. I AM a woman who came to understand the trauma of the abortion death of Sarah and how it impacted my life through abortion connectors, anniversary syndrome, emotional reactions of anger, depression, resentment and unforgiveness.  

I AM a woman who became aware of another child lost through the use of the pill or the intrauterine device.  Prior to my marriage, Daniel Joseph, died somewhere and at some point along the downward spiral of my life. I AM the mother to three children, each one dying due to a different aspect of the culture of death.
Surgical abortion took the life of Sarah Elizabeth; Ectopic pregnancy, due to a sexually transmitted disease, took the life of Joseph Michael, and Abortifacient contraception took the life of Daniel Joseph.

But it is only their bodies that were killed, not their souls.  They are with God, I AM WHO AM. 
Who AM I now?

I AM a woman who has no children and no grandchildren.
I AM a woman who has empty arms and no genealogy, and will always deeply REGRET the choice that that scared teenager made all those years ago.
I AM a woman who has acknowledged her sins, turned away from lies and deception, and turned to God, my children and others asking forgiveness for my wrongdoing.
I AM a woman who has forgiven those who have wronged her. 
I AM a woman committed to proclaiming that the mercy of God is for all who ask for it. 
I AM a woman who has reclaimed the truth that He Alone is the Creator and Giver of Life.
I AM a woman who has reclaimed the gift of my freewill to do the good, to be faithful, to choose life, and to care for the other.
I AM a Woman who knows the Hope and Joy of Life, and has gone from darkness to light.
I AM a loved child of God, created in His Image and likeness, body and soul.  I AM called to Know Him, Love Him and Serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next.
I AM a woman who will be Silent No More! 


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