My story starts when I was a senior in High School. I had been dating a guy from out of state, we only got to see each other on vacations from school. I was at a party one night with what I considered to be my cousin. He was my step fathers nephew. I had gotten really drunk and had passed out. I hadn't realized that some people from the party had brought me to the basement to "sleep it off". I woke up a little, but enough to realize that my cousin was on top of me. I didn't say anything and just pretended that I was still passed out. I was to scared! After he finished he went back up stairs to the party.

I waited for a while before I went up stairs and asked for someone to give me a ride home. A month later I realized that I was pregnant. When my boyfriend found out, he knew it couldn't be his, and wanted nothing to do with me. I was to ashamed to tell my Dad what had really happened to me and I just let him think that I was irresponsible.

I didn't know what to do. I found a number for an abortion clinic and I made an appointment to talk to them. After talking about my options with them, and finding out the cost, I went to my Dad and talked with him, still not telling him the truth. I was surprised to find that he supported me in any choice I would make, and gave me the money to go through with the abortion.

The day that I had it done was a day I'll never forget. After the doctor was done with what felt like ripping out my insides, there was so much pain, that the doctor felt he may have missed something during the procedure. He decided that it would be in my best interest to have the procedure done again, just in case. I know now that no matter the circumstances for my choice, that it was the wrong one.

When I became married and had my children, my pregnancies were horrific. I had a lot of pain and a lot of problems with vomiting. I had twins with my second pregnancy, and I would like to think that God was giving me back the child that I destroyed. I can't tell you the things that you feel when an abortion is the choice that you make. There are so many bad things, and feelings that go through your mind. I will never know what things in this life that child had to offer the word. No matter the circumstances that made that child, I decided that child should be punished for just being here. Watching my children now, I know how precious children are. And I still to this day grieve for the child that is gone. I believe I always will.