I just saw your ad on tv last night and couldn’t believe it. I am not alone.

I had my abortion on December 11, 1984. It feels like yesterday. I was dating the love of my life. We were both in college and struggling to figure out who we were. We both had alcoholic mothers who tortured us concerning our relationship. We were too young, etc. Michael decided to get away and move 600 miles from me. He needed to figure out what direction his life was going in. I didn’t blame him. We slept together one last time and I became pregnant. I called him and he said he would do whatever he could but he had to move on.

I could go on to explain the procedure but the ladies in the other testimonies have done it so well. The guilt, anger, resentment, lies and total lack of caring are all true. I guess I am writing this because I had my abortion for two reasons – I thought my mother would hate me for life if I kept my baby and I didn’t think I could handle it alone. What I didn’t know is that my mom felt the way about me regardless of the situation and more importantly, I can do anything if I put my mind to it.

I am lucky – I have two wonderful kids. I, however, never stop missing my first baby. I place flowers on a gravesite for babies of abortion like it is my own. I hope that someday I get to hold my baby and tell her how sorry I am and how I wish I had had the strength to love her and keep her. I am crying as I write this on my 41st birthday. The pain never goes away