From Turmoil to Triumph

By Teresa

When abortion was legalized in 1973, I was in my early 20’s, so when I was faced with an unwanted pregnancy, I had an abortion. I was lied to. They said that it was just ‘fetal tissue’. It appeared to be the solution to the predicament in which I found myself, but instead of solving my dilemma, it turned out to be the beginning of a long period of emotional turmoil. I became depressed, hurt, and angry. I lived with unforgiveness. I could not figure out what was happening to me. I was raised in church and in a Godly home, but I had turned my back on God because I wanted to do things my own way. As a result, I suffered with depression for fifteen years. During my depression I was possessed with my hurt, my anger, and my unforgiveness. I had done something that was wrong in the sight of God although legal in the sight of our government.

It was abortion that opened the door to depression in my life, as well as every harmful emotion that emerges as a result. When I got married, I discovered that it not only continued to affect me, but my husband and children as well. In my twisted way of thinking, I felt that if I could bring others down as low as I felt, they might see things the way I did so I could be closer to them and have a better relationship.

I was a very negative person. Instead of the gas tank being half full, it was always half empty. I could never see the good in people, but I could sure let you know what was wrong with them in just a short time. In essence, I was down and I wanted to bring everyone around me down -- even my children couldn't do anything right. I was always on them about something, tearing down their self-esteem.

I tried to commit suicide four times in my life. Depression caused me to suffer severe mood swings. At times everything would be okay, and then at the least provocation, I would go into a rage. After fifteen years of enduring this emotional torture, I came back home to the Lord.

One day I accepted prayer and received an ‘IV of God‘s Word‘ that delivered me from a lifetime of depression. I not only wanted to know about Him, I had such a desire to know Him -- His thoughts His ways His reactions to thing. Even though my life was much improved, I knew something was still missing. Then, in April of 1999, my husband was transferred to Charleston, SC where I became a volunteer at a Pregnancy Center. I was asked to begin training to counsel women on alternatives to abortion. I accepted. Part of the training included post-abortion healing and forgiveness. It was through that training that I realized I was being held in bondage for having consented to the murder of my baby, a child of God.

I had been told lies by the abortionist and had been trying to live with those lies for almost twenty years. When I asked God to forgive me, He did. The problem was I could not forgive myself. Through the training and guidance of other women who had been through similar experiences, God delivered me from self-condemnation. My testimony demonstrates that there is triumph awaiting all the hurting, post- abortive women who are willing to face their past in the light of God’s Word, because His love and forgiveness are available to all. I am stepping out to help others by sharing my testimony and experience with those whose lives have been affected by abortion. I am committed to being obedient to God by making myself available to lead or assist in classes, or just talk to others that might need to know how to break the bondage and cycle of condemnation off their lives. I can’t do it, but I have a Master that can.

Please pray for the healing for women who have had an abortion. That they will come out of condemnation and be set free.

If you have any questions, or if you would like me to come and give my testimony, you can contact me at Tabyas1@aol.com.

Thank you and BE BLESSED.