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My life has been devastated by abortion. I have had 3
abortions because I didn’t think I had any other choices.
When I went in for my abortions, I was told that I carried
only a blob of tissue, and it would be safer and easier to
abort than to carry my baby to term. I would later find out
that it had been a lie.
I remember laying on the cold table with no anesthetic for
the pain, staring at the ceiling, wishing I were someplace
else. It seemed to last forever and the pain was unbearable.
Nothing could dull the pain in my heart and mind as I
listened to the vacuum aspirator method. I could hear by the
increased labor of the suction machine when a part or limb
of my baby was being extracted. Each time I tried to look at
the jar with my babies’ remains, I was pushed back down. To
this day I still hear that haunting suction sound.
When it was finished, I was sent to a waiting room with the
other girls. I was given a cup of juice and told I could
leave in 20 minutes if I felt alright. I had never felt
worse, but I told them I felt fine because I just wanted out
of there. On the drive home I was in extreme pain and was
bleeding profusely. I called them for help, but was told it
wasn’t their problem, to call my doctor. I was too afraid
and ashamed to call the doctor, so I lay there and waited
and wondered if I would die.
A part of me died that day as I realized I would never hold
or see that child. I became angry and depressed. I started
drinking heavily; doing drugs, and became very promiscuous.
I didn’t think anyone would love me unless I gave them sex
in return. I got pregnant two more times and chose abortion
each time. With each abortion my addictions got worse. I
even attempted suicide 3 times. My life was a mess and was
spiraling out of control.
Years later, with the loving witness of my parents, I made a
good choice. I Received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I later
met and married a wonderful man. After trying to start a
family with no success, we learned I was infertile because
of the abortions. The suction from the vacuum aspirator had
destroyed my tubes and ovaries. A few years ago I had to
have a hysterectomy because of the severe damage caused from
the suction procedure.
Everyday I live with the reality that the only children I
will ever bear I killed.
The only way I have been able to live through this nightmare
is that I have come to know my Lord Jesus Christ. He has
forgiven me and set me free. 2Corth. 5:17 says… Therefore if
any man is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things
are passed away; behold new things have come.
There has never been a day that I don’t regret the “choices”
I made to have those abortions, or think about those 3
children and who they would have been. Abortion didn’t solve
my problems it only created more. I want the world to know
the harmful, horrible effects of abortion and how it
destroys lives, so I WILL BE SILENT NO MORE.
-- Luana, Iowa |
