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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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If God Is For Us, Who Can Be Against Us?
Joyce Tabb, Maryland Regional Coordinator
Maryland, United States

In 1975 I had an abortion because I had just graduated from high school and had joined the Army.  I was on a six-month waiting list to be deployed for active duty.  It was during this time I got pregnant by my boyfriend.  He paid for the abortion and I had it two months before I left for the Army.

During the abortion procedure, I experienced the most horrible pain ever.  It felt like my insides were being sucked out of me.  Immediately after the abortion, I felt ashamed, sad and knew right away what I had done was wrong and regretted my decision. As time went on after the abortion, I experienced low self-esteem, shame, guilt, low self-worth, and didn’t love and care about myself.  All these are symptoms of post abortion syndrome that I did not know at the time.  I also got a serious infection that damaged one-fourth of my kidney. 

Regrettably, I had another abortion after leaving the Army.  I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was not a Christian so there was no conviction from God.  I blocked out the experience so I would not feel any pain; I was totally numb. Even to this day, I cannot remember the abortion or when it happened.  However, because of uncontrollable guilt, I decided to have my tubes tied so I would not kill anymore babies--I was 23 years old.

I found help and forgiveness through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior in 1990 after becoming a born-again Christian.  But it did not stop there.  In 1991 I saw a video on aborted babies and realized that I had killed my children.  It was not a blob of flesh as was told to me by Planned Parenthood.  I cried first, and then I got mad because of the lie that was told me.  I started volunteering at pro-life events and learning more about Planned Parenthood.  I learned about their plan to eliminate the Black race through genocide (abortions).  The more I learned and spoke out, the more God healed my wounds.  I am totally forgiven and set free from the shame of my abortions through the love of Jesus Christ and I will not and shall not be put back in a box of guilt and shame again. 

In 2000 God blessed me with a four-month-old girl through adoption.  He has completely restored me and filled the void in my life.  That is why I am SILENT NO MORE about the effect of abortion on women.  I want other women who had an abortion to experience this same freedom through Jesus Christ.  If God is for us who can be against us?


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