When Jesus says ‘Follow Me,’ He is not calling the perfect. He is calling the wounded, the wandering, and the ones who think they have gone too far. I know that because He called me — more than once.”

The first time I sensed Jesus calling me, I was 11. I was attending church. I sang in the choir. One night before falling asleep, I had a sudden understanding of who God was — He was asking me to follow Him. I did not have the words for it then, and I did not understand what it meant. So, I said no. Not out of defiance… just uncertainty.

Five years later, at sixteen, I had my first abortion. After that, my life slipped into a spiritual darkness that I didn’t recognize at the time. Looking back, it felt like a cycle I couldn’t break — a heaviness that whispered lies about who I was and what my future could be. I didn’t want to repeat the same choices or be in that place again. But I felt trapped, like something stronger than my own will kept pulling me back into the same pain, so I had 9 abortions from 16 to 29 years old.

Evil and darkness had taken hold of me in a quiet, suffocating way that allowed shame and fear to grip your life. I believed I was too far gone. I believed God had turned His face from me.  But He hadn’t.

The second time I felt Him say Follow Me was in my thirties, five years after my last abortion. I had reconnected with a foster sister my parents once tried to help when I was a child. Her life had taken a heartbreaking turn. And when I saw her pain, something inside me broke open. I ran home and prayed for her and her family with a desperation I hadn’t felt in years.

And in that moment — in that prayer — I sensed that same gentle voice again: Follow Me. But I still wasn’t ready. Years passed. And then, when I was forty nine, He called a third time. This time, the invitation felt different. Not demanding. Not condemning. Just steady, patient, and full of love. And at forty nine, I finally said “yes”. That’s why I’m standing here today.

Because my story isn’t about how many times I said “no” to life. It’s about how many times Jesus said Follow Me…..to me. He met me in the places I was most ashamed of. He walked with me through the memories I had tried to bury. He showed me that my past did not disqualify me — it prepared me to understand His mercy in a way I never could have otherwise. If He could call that eleven year old girl… If He could call the woman in her thirties, who thought she had ruined everything… If He could call the forty nine year old who finally surrendered… Then He is calling “Follow me” to anyone who can hear my voice today.