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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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The Homicide of Leonor Bridgette Beltran
Irene Zamorano, Regional Coordinator
California, United States

The following is several tragic events that led up to the homicide of my beloved daughter, Leonor Bridgette Beltran.  This is a tragedy that no woman should ever have to endure, but countless women do.  This part of my life was filled with deceit, grim details and horrific events; yet later it proved to be filled with a sense of promise and aspiration. 
My husband and I met in 8th grade and had become teenage sweethearts two years later.  When I was sixteen years old I gave birth to our first daughter and soon followed her five sisters.  The next several years proved to be the struggle of our lives.  I was 22 years old and my husband was 24, we were married, we had six daughters age five and under, a mortgage payment, he worked full-time; I worked part-time, and went to school fulltime.  One of the biggest mistakes we had ever made was to stop going to church.  That was the beginning of the destruction of my family.  I was extremely busy and the absent of me from home and the extra burden on my husband became over barring for us, since we no longer had the Lord in our lives.  Our romantic evenings of laughing, cuddling, having fun together turned into arguing over the simplest of things.  Arguing led to blaming and resenting each other.  My husband and I separated and my children were left with no father at home. 

I’ve found myself to be misguided, confused, and in despair when I became pregnant with another man’s (childhood friend) baby during my separation from my husband.  We later reconciled when I was four months pregnant and my husband planned to raise the baby.  The biological father did not agree with that scenario and refused to sign any adoption papers.  I would talk to my daughter and tell her “mama is going to make it all better.”  I would rub my stomach at night when no one watched and say “I love you darling.” I was so desperate to have my family back together.  I was eager for my six daughters to be happy again.  I love them dearly and with my warped, Godless, thinking at the time, I was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for them.  Legally kill their sister, so they could have a happy family again with no reminder of the dreadful past.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

My entire being was overcome by terror, and I felt deep anguish in the core of my soul when I ended the life of my own child for the sake of convenience.  I was mortified and shocked when I felt my child kick and turn very hastily, as the abortionist administered the drug in my belly. I was inconsolable the entire time at the clinic and didn’t have the strength to engage even in simple conversation with the staff.  It was difficult to comprehend anything around me.  I went to the Labor and Delivery department at a local hospital immediately after (approximately two hours later) they administered the lethal dose to my child. I arrived at the hospital grasping on the slim chance they could save my daughter, but there was nothing the doctors could do.  The affects of the medicine were irreversible.   I was told that the healthy beating heart I heard over the monitor would soon be destroyed by the medication.  The next day after several hours in labor, I delivered an angel named Leonor Bridgette Beltran. I stroked her face and repeatedly asked her for forgiveness. My husband and I, along with my parents and other family members, were able to cradle her in our arms and spend the last moments with her before the nurse walked her small, helpless, now cold and lifeless body out of the room.  My family and the biological father’s family were left with the daunting task of planning her funeral. That moment I made a commitment to our Lord to devote my life to protect the sanctity of life, and help minimize or eliminate the victims of abortion.  I want to help women, so they don’t feel the damage, humiliation, and hopelessness one feels after an abortion.

I am compelled to tell “Leonor’s Story” to protect America’s children and their mothers, fathers, and siblings.  I’ve grief stricken countless people with the “choice” I’ve made.  I’ve robbed my seven children of a sister that they could have played with, fed and helped nurture.  I’ve robbed three sets of grandparents of a granddaughter; I robbed future generations from ever existing because I destroyed the life of my daughter and her future children and their children and so on.  Woman truly deserve better than abortion.  My daughter forgives me, my family forgives me, the Lord forgives me, and I forgive myself.  I dedicated the rest of my existence to fight this life and death war.  This is why I am…..Silent No More.

 


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