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Testimonies
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Not A Simple Procedure
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Carol Marie
Nevada,
United States
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My name is Carol Marie and I’m from Reno, but I grew up from the 5th grade through after college here in the Bay Area. He’d by 36-years-old by now. Over the years my abortion has meant different things to me. At first, I just wanted to pretend it had never happened. But the thing is, it did. On December 31st in 1976 my boyfriend drove me to Kaiser Permanente in Santa Clara for the abortion that Planned Parenthood had scheduled for me.
I was put out for the procedure, which made it easier for me to deny. But I couldn’t escape the anger that arose whenever the subject came up. I used to think the anger came from the people who dared to suggest that abortion was wrong. But I’ve come to recognize that I was projecting my feelings onto others. It was only after I accepted that abortion was me allowing my own child to be killed, that I was able to move past that anger and the destructive behaviors.
I sought forgiveness and began to heal. Now I appreciate the relationships lost. With my son who never drew his first breath. With the young woman he would have called his bride and with their children who would have been my grandchildren. Abortion changes you. It changes the makeup of your family and it denies a frightened young teen the opportunity to start making choices in her life that aren’t focused on self, but rather seek to protect and care for someone else; someone who uniquely requires her protection and love.
I wish I hadn’t bought into the lie that a simple procedure would make my “problem” go away. It took a challenge and it turned it into a tragedy and this is why I’m Silent No More.
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