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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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No Longer a Secret
Virginia, United States

My story begins with a history of injury from my encounters at Planned Parenthood clinics that include a blood clot in my leg from being prescribed high dose birth control pills and a torn cervix from a failed attempt to insert an IUD. Unfortunately, that didn’t prevent me from returning to Planned Parenthood in 1984.  

33 years ago I made a decision I deeply regret.  I was estranged from my first husband, raising two young daughters as a teacher.   I wanted to protect the ones I loved from an unplanned pregnancy.  The father of the baby told me, “It’s your choice what to do, but I will pay for the abortion.”  Everyone I turned to told me I had to get an abortion, and I did.

Instead of the promised quick and easy fix to my situation, my abortion sent shockwaves of pain in every direction.  The actual experience was brutal.  I felt as though my insides were being torn apart, and I can still hear the terrible sound of the vacuum machine.  The doctor poured the remains of what was my child, Robert Joseph, in the jar on a tray in front of me and yelled at me because he couldn’t find all of the body parts.  I wanted to die and tried to bury the experience so it wouldn’t affect me or anyone else.  But no matter how I tried I couldn’t.  

I had been coerced by the PP worker to sign a release form allowing the “product of conception” to be used for scientific research.  Imagine how I felt when the PP videos came out in 2015 showing what becomes of the remains of aborted children.  When I saw them I wanted to die all over again.  Do you know how devastating it is to know that my child’s remains were likely sold for profit? But I applaud the work of the Center for Medical Progress for exposing the TRUTH.  

After my abortion I felt a period of relief then I quickly fell into a deep depression.  I became self-loathing, detached from those I loved.  My relationships with family and friends suffered as I distanced myself. Who could love me after what I had done?  At my lowest point, when I no longer wanted to live, I discovered that God still loved me.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus, led me to Him and to healing.  I sought forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I began praying at abortion clinics and counseling women.  I went through healing programs including a Rachael’s Vineyard weekend.  

But my abortion was not a quick, easy fix, and I still suffer from the decision I made so many years ago. Planned Parenthood wants women to keep the pain of abortion a secret.  Please help us be Silent No More by our sharing our stories with others!


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