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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

EXPRESS YOUR REGRET

Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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Liberty not Condemnation
Raetoria
Florida, United States

I would like to share my experience with abortion. I was 15 years old when I had my first of 17 abortions. I was taken to the clinic, and I was informed of the procedure and reassured that I would be alright. I trusted them, because I didn't know other than what was told to me.  Also, because my mother took me, I saw no harm in it. My child's father was upset and hurt, because he wanted it, and I took his right away as a father.

After I had my first abortion I thought I was okay, but my attitude changed, and I began to become angry and uncaring. I resented my mother for taking me and was angry with my child's father for telling her that I was pregnant.  So I blamed them.

I went through humiliation, rejection, and bad relationship after relationship that cost me two marriages, due to not understanding that I needed healing. I could not find a place to forgive myself and that brought me down a road of unforgiveness to justification which ultimately ended in shame and guilt. Hearing babies cry at night, having dreams of children, and even seeing newborns kept me in a continuous, perpetual state of guilt.  These things took me into deep depression that I would think of suicide. The mind battles of my choices hid who I really was. My self-esteem was low, as well as my standards, which caused me to become very dominating, controlling, and protective of not being hurt again, but I was able to control at least my relationships.  I picked the wrong people in my life, only to continue to get the same outcome, meeting the same people with different faces. During my pregnancies I began to be selective of who I wanted to father my child, only to experience the very thing that I aborted for, not wanting to raise a child alone.

I gave my life to Christ and, from there, I received His forgiveness and His Love.  I was able to forgive myself and ask others to forgive me for what I had done and encouraged. You see, the same advice that I received from others I gave to those that were in the same situation, and I have to as a Believer repent and share the Love of Jesus Christ so that others can walk in the liberty of the Lord and not condemnation. I received His love and forgiveness over and over again until I believed it and was able to allow it to be a very essence of my Being. I went through counseling as well, and I am forever grateful that the Lord has delivered me from the shame, guilt, hurt, and pain of the abortion.

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