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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Through Chris's Love
Ontario, Canada

Good afternoon.  My name is Clinton, from Toronto.

I met my ex-girlfriend in 1986.  Although we planned to marry, we never wanted children, so we always used contraception when we were sexually active.  But one time the contraception failed, and she got pregnant.  Although we were atheists, we knew that our child was real, but we didn't want to be burdened with a baby.  We considered adoption, but in the end, because of medical issues, we chose abortion.  We acted quickly, before our child reached three months’ gestation.  For some reason, we figured that made a difference.

The abortion took place privately in Toronto.  We went in; I paid money; I waited; then my girlfriend came out and we left.  We didn't find out if our child was a boy or a girl.  I have no recollection of what took place between us later that day; I don’t remember the date of the abortion, or even the year.

My girlfriend and I became estranged after the abortion.  Something that had been living in our relationship -- faith in each other or hope for our future -- was gone.  Our relationship ended a couple of years later...bitterly.

Many years after that, the reality of my fatherhood hit me and wouldn't go away.  So I started attending the Second Chance Post-Abortion Healing Ministry in Toronto.  I accepted responsibility for the killing of my child, and – very importantly – I named my child, choosing the name “Chris”.  Second Chance showed me that it's natural to grieve for our aborted sons and daughters, to accept our parenthood, and to love these children.  They remain a part of our lives – forever.  Now I am filled with joy around children: I see, in these little boys and girls, the fulfillment of God’s word “Let there be”; it is an eternal word, and God never stops saying it.  I believe this joy is a sign of healing.

And there’s another sign of God’s healing, too: Years after we broke up, I was unexpectedly contacted by my ex-girlfriend, Chris' mother.  She asked forgiveness for the abortion (as did I), and told me she was a new believer in Jesus Christ. I then told her that I had become a Catholic.  That was a miracle: two atheists, both coming to believe in Jesus years after going their separate ways.  And then it occurred to me that our aborted child, Chris, had been praying for both of us, all along... This gift from God, through Chris’ love, is one reason I am Silent No More.  Thank you.


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